Delusioned Amnesia
by junkii
Summary: [HiKaoru twincest Kaoru POV] oneshot Hikaru doesn't remember what he doesn't like. He doesn't like me. He doesn't remember. [AUOOC]


**A/N: **Ahaha thank you for the reviews! You're all so sweet...ah. Another angsty Hikaru/Kaoru -- Kaoru's POV again. XD;; I dunno why. He has so much angst I guess. Ah! Disclaimer! I do not own Ouran; Hatori Bisco does. (COUGHHACKANIMEISBETTERCOUGHCOUGH) Anywayyyyy. Here you go. Sad little fic. It's confusing; FYI.

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Hikaru...remember when we were young? When we read stories? I remember. Very distinctively. I remember you pulling out the colossal storybook, smiling and reading aloud the old Japanese fables, sometimes brushing my identical orange hair. The same shade as yours; except parted the opposite way. We are mirror images, together we make a perfect match. Nobody could split us up...right? Nobody but her. 

She was a burden to me; a welcoming insight on life for you.

That's all I wanted; Hikaru. Was for you to have your horizons broadened. Love was touchy...you loved her so much. You still do...that's why you're with her right now; opposite me while we sit and do our routine for the guests. It's real to me; but what about you, Hikaru?

Do you remember the fables and tales; Hikaru? The princess and the prince; the damsel and the knight...the Lord and the Commoner. You don't realize this; but Haruhi's heart shouldn't belong to you...I know it is painful; but look at dear Tamaki Suoh; a broken robotic male without a care anymore. He doesn't know of your secret relationship...he doesn't realize it. He...understands me. After that private sitdown; I spilled all. I confessed my love for you, Hikaru.

But you don't remember.

Maybe it was a glitch? Something that wasn't suppose to be remembered? Or maybe you didn't quite here it when I yelled across from the courtyard on Valentine's Day. Maybe you forget hearing my three words. Maybe they were insignificant. Boring. Looking at the same person as if looking at yourself. Disgusting. You couldn't love yourself so much; no matter how egotistical you were, Hikaru. You don't remember sitting down and reading stories with me anymore. We grew out of that. You don't remember the Brotherly Love Act. It got stupid to you. Do you forget my whole being, Hikaru? Are you blindsighted by her commoner ways?

And why her? I was here longer.

Why did you pick her?

You CHASED after Haruhi Fujioka; Hikaru. You dashed after her. I screamed the confession at you, blushing wildly as doves fluttered by, my amber eyes casted at the water fountain reflecting my image. It was like looking at you; but when I looked up...you weren't there Hikaru. It was as if you remembered something else. And that something was Haruhi. You forgot me and left me as if I never was born on the same morning as you. As if you never woke me up in the middle of the night to read a fable. As if you don't remember us being...us.

I can't remember a time without you...but how come you seemed to forget? To forget everything I whispered to you? Forget my cooing when you were sad? How come you forget holding? Forget having holidays with okaasan and otousan? You must be ignorant to forget. You moved out of OUR bedroom into a single one; locking it so I can never get in. I don't have the key. I'm not Haruhi. I can't open the door to your heart. Your haven. I'm not the Angel God sent to you.

There is no more act now. It's just the Host Club. All you do is serve. I'm...just a Host. Nothing more. Just a classmate. Just family. I'm like one of the siblings you would hate; Hikaru. Am I really like that? You don't remember always playing pranks on the nannies? Have you forgotten about it? I remember it as if it happened just now. As if it was all a dream and I woke up next to you. If this is a dream; please God wake me up. I want you to remember. Kyouya knows, Hani, Mori...Tamaki knows. HARUHI knows.

But you seem to forget.

You seem to forget Valentine's day. My confession. After that you forgot my whole existance. Did you shut down from shock and restart; with no memory or trace of me on file? How is that possible you idiot?!? How can you forget your identical twin brother; your mirror image when you walk downstairs; the same person you sit opposite side of while in the limo?! How can you only remember Haruhi and her commoner smile; her ignorance and blindness? Is it bcause you're like her? You're arrogant and idiotic? Maybe THAT'S it. Maybe because I'm different from you personality wise. Maybe because I don't have the same flaws YOU do. Opposites attract; Hikaru. We're opposite but one in the same.

You abandoned me. Left me stranded on a Love Day. A beautiful day were lovers get together and eat chocolate; telling how much one loves the other. The females confess usually. Though I'm not female; I'm feminine. I'm homosexual. I'm DIFFERENT than Haruhi. Different than the Host Club members. Different from you obviously. Someone who has sudden amnesia of everyone but her. How...how unlawful. I should talk to you about it. Or I should wake up.

Hikaru...do you remember? When we sat together under the Willow Tree? After chasing the French maids for hours...we rested together, hand in hand at the age of nine. We were so young...and we knew so little. We knew only each other. Our eyes knew our appearance; our ears recognized our voices in an instant. Do you remember our first accidental kiss? Of course not. You wouldn't remember. Your memory has faded. I wish I could reopen your eyes to remember US. The orange-ish pale white amber eyed males. Sixteen of age and born together, minutes apart. The Devil and the Angel. You don't remember our forbidden act; the lust and taboo of incestual relations.

You don't remember things you don't like.

You don't like me.

You don't remember.

I wish I could take it all back when we were reading...I wish I could have closed that back, looked at you and told you to forget. I wish I ran off when we were eleven and still reading stories. I wish we never went to Ouran Academy. I wish Tamaki Suoh didn't ask us to join. I wish Haruhi Fujioka never existed. Most of all...I wish for you to remember. Just remember us. Not her; not them. That path is dangerous; Hikaru. You'll only get hurt. I still love you even if you don't remember. Get ready to go; Hikaru. Get ready to fly freely. I'm leaving you behind. I'm going to move on and convince myself that I don't need you.

Truth is...I'll always remember. I'll always love you and I will always need you.

Why can't you remember?

Then there is something that pulls me into reality. A shake on my shoulder. My eyes blink; my mind comes back to reality. I've...been woken up. From a nightmare I wish to escape. It was fake? A delusion perhaps...of a world without you. That would be horrible. A world where I wasn't there; just a shadow in your footsteps. Maybe I thought too much on your reaction of my confession. It's...Valentine's Day? The doves are fluttering by as I see you opposite the water fountain. Shock. I expect you to run away; yet I call out your name.

._..Hikaru_.

A whisper of your name is so faint. You say mine back and I look at you. You smile then you're suddenly walking through the water; over to me. It's as if you've woken up too. Maybe it was a duet dream. Maybe we dream together. You take my face into your hands and you lean in. A simple kiss. A real kiss. Embrassed yet real. You pull away; our mirror images seeing eye to eye.

And you say those two words I wanted to hear.

"I remember."


End file.
